Black's Purge Survival Guide

Meet the Blacks – Photo Credit Destinee Harrison

Rating: ★★ out of 5

Staring: Mike Epps, Zulay Henao, Alex Henderson, Bresha Webb, Lil’ Duval

Directed By: Deon Taylor

Rated: R

Length: 90 minutes

Meet the Blacks was a shot in the dark at how black people would react to surviving the Purge; a night where all crimes are legal.

Carl Black (Mike Epps) is a shady cable installation technician who comes into a lot of money illegally. Carl decides to uproot his family from the slums of Chicago to prestigious Beverly Hills because “rich people don’t purge.”

Shortly after their arrival, they realize, rich white people are just as dangerous the thugs in Chicago.

Throughout the dimwitted, 90-minute film, Black’s past life in Chicago and his current neighbors in Beverly Hills take over his newly acquired mansion in a mission to eliminate the Black family, because either Carl owes them money or simply because they are black.

The film is an apparent spoof of James DeMonaco’s 2013 film “The Purge,” where any and all crime is legal for 12 hours, including murder.

Director Deon Taylor took a few notes from DeMonaco, then trashed them and wrote his own film.

While there are some similarities — like the son who always runs away, and the masked killers outside the door, and the daughter’s beau who sneaks in the house to kill the father — other than that there was no logic to the film.

Carl Black seems oblivious to the concept of the Purge or what the rules are, despite it’s having gone on for years.

At 7 p.m. sharp President El Bama (George Lopez) announces through the nation’s emergency broadcasting system that the Purge has begun. Carl’s daughter Allie (Bresha Webb) has to remind her father that everyone purges and that it happens every year.

Even this scene isn’t enough for Carl to understand what is going on. After his first kill of the night, Carl constantly believes he is going to jail for murder.

“I’ve seen first 48 [an A&E crime show], we have to wipe all this down,” says Carl.

Carl’s sexy Latina wife, Lorena (Zulay Henao), has to remind him throughout the film that crime is legal, which also means murder is legal.

There is even a scene after a battle between Lorena and Carl’s ex wife Shoranda (Tameka “Tiny” Cottle), where Lorena takes off her shirt for no apparent reason, other than to show her chest bounce while she runs. Even stepdaughter Allie asks why she took her shirt off, but no answer is ever given.

“Meet the Blacks” casting director, J.C. Cantu tried to make up for the lack of comedy from writers Nicole DeMasi and Deon Taylor by adding in a bunch of A-list celebrity appearances, like champion boxer Mike Tyson (James Clown), internet sensation Andrew Bachelor, and comedian/ actor DeRay Davis (Tyrone).

So, what exactly makes this a black survival guide to the purge?

Nothing.

The only difference in DeMonaco and Taylor’s version of a massive Hunger Games, is that race relations is the primary reason for neighbors wanting to annihilate the Black family.

They spin this hilarious dialogue while the masked killers outside the front door are going through every black stereotype imaginable. “We like you on the courts, and on the fields but not in our neighborhoods.”

While this seemingly never ending racial rant continues, the leader of the masked men (Gary Owen) says the N- word then realizes he has gone to far. For the next minute or so, he continuously apologizes and asks for forgiveness, then returns to his “I still have to kill you” message.

There were a lot of pop culture references as well, like the white Oscars, Forest Whitaker’s lazy eye, Kim Kardashian, Planet of the Apes, and Ebola.

Other than these rare moments of comedic brilliance, the film appears to be one long improvisation movie that went 90 minutes too long.

In theaters nationwide

Tickets